Savior Chapter 1: Fantasy
Author Note: This is not fanfiction. If that is not allowed then please delete. Also this is a multi-chapter novel so expect plot. ^^
It can be funny how things change. In just a few months my life is completely different from what it was. Looking back I’m amazed that so much happened in such a short amount of time. Stretching my legs out underneath the table I looked at my band mates. Akira was texting someone, probably Reiko. Sora was in the process of trying to get himself hit.
“Stop it Sora.” Hasu yanked the handheld out of the bassist’s reach glaring at him. I didn’t bother to hide my amusement, letting a chuckle slip free.
“You are going to lose, just let me beat that boss for you.”
“No, I can do it if you’d quit pestering me. Damn it Sora! You made me lose again.”
I laughed softly and slid out of my seat, swaying with the movement of the bus. Hasu didn’t cuss all that often and when he did-
“Ow! Owowowow! Let go! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again.”
I glanced back over to see Hasu with a fist full of Sora’s long red hair holding his head against the table. His eyes were firmly fixed on the small screen even as Sora struggled to get loose. Hasu might be almost a foot shorter and four years younger, but it was pretty obvious that Sora had no chance. Our little drummer was strong enough to flip the tall bassist on his head, quite literally.
Turning back around, I opened the small fridge and grabbed myself a Coke. The weekend had gone exceptionally well. Both concerts had been huge hits and I’d met my new best friend. Speaking of Tatsuya, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and grinned seeing the text message. Shopping was on for next weekend. If I got bored this week I might invite him out to eat or something. I’d never met anyone quite like him and we’d had so much fun coming up with new outfit ideas. I really couldn’t wait to see him again. Sitting back down, I took a sip of the coke. Speaking of seeing people again . . . it was going to be a couple of days before I got to see Kenta again. I sighed, running my finger along the lip of the can.
Maybe Reiko was right. Maybe I was just chasing after a dream. I just couldn’t let it go. Not yet. After all the time I’d spent around him he’d seen me at my best and my worst and he still was just as patient and kind as ever. I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with. I’m too emotional and act before I fully think things through. At least that is what everyone tells me. I took another sip of the Coke, thinking.
“What’s wrong, Ryuu?”
I looked up to meet Akira’s light brown eyes. “Nothing, was just thinking.”
“Did you have fun this weekend?”
I nodded, “Yeah. Tatsuya and I are going to get together this week. He’s got some wicked ideas for new concert outfits.”
Akira shook his head, a wry smile twisting the full lips. “You two knowing each other scares me.”
I couldn’t help but giggle at that, even if there was a hint of pain in it. “He’s so much fun! Oh my god, I can’t wait to see him again.”
Something in Akira’s eyes changed slightly and I looked away knowing it had sounded forced.
“What are you hiding Ryuu?”
Trust Akira to see right through me. I shrugged, unable to keep the smile in place. Truthfully, I wasn’t looking forward to going back to my huge empty apartment. I loved being with everyone, meeting Tatsuya had seemed to underline the fact that without my friends around I was nothing. That old fear from high school from before I’d met Sora always tried to resurface then. What if they only were friends with me because my family was wealthy? What if it was all fake? With Sora I knew it wasn’t. For one, we’d been friends for too long and his family was almost as well off as mine.
“Umm, you guys going to come over sometime this week? We’ve got that new material . . .”
“Ryuu, if you want us to come over just say so. You don’t have to make up an excuse for us to come over.”
Sora’s gentle tone actually made me feel worse. It made me feel like a whiny, needy, self centered jerk.
“Oh no, it’s cool. I was just wondering. I know it’s been a really busy weekend and I don’t expect you guys to come over.” I glanced back over at Akira studying him for a moment. He’d changed in the year since he’d met Reiko. He was more confident and happier. A lot happier. I would never have been able to make him as happy as Reiko did. Even now that thought hurt. I loved him, more than he probably realized, but I’d slowly come to realize that it wouldn’t have worked no matter how hard I tried. That led me to think about Kenta. Just thinking about those sultry dark eyes and the deep voice gave me chills. He was the quiet, calm presence that my life had been lacking for so long.
“You are thinking about Kenta aren’t you?” I looked up expecting to get the usual sarcasm from Sora, instead he was looking at me concern clearly visible in the light green eyes.
I couldn’t hold his gaze. “Was it that obvious?”
“Well lately it’s been pretty obvious that . . . “ Sora paused and looked over at Hasu who was once again absorbed in his game. He picked up the headphones and after plugging them in, put them on Hasu getting a look but no argument. Sometimes the big oaf was more protective than he needed to be.
“You like him don’t you?” I looked back over at Akira surprised. “I know how affectionate you are Ryuu, but the way you look at him is totally different.”
I took another long drink of my Coke wanting to avoid the conversation. “It’s pointless though. Reiko is right.”
“You don’t know Ryuu.” I looked at Sora but his eyes were on Hasu, not the game, but Hasu. I almost smirked, but we were both in the same situation. We liked people we couldn’t have and who were oblivious to our feelings. At least the person I liked was my age. “I know he seems distant, but you are his employer after all.”
“What you suggesting I fire him so I can date him?”
“No, I’m just saying that you shouldn’t give up.”
“I agree with Sora.” Akira’s soft look seemed to sharpen the pain in my chest. “Just give it some time. I’ll see if Suke knows anything, they do work together you know.”
“Y-yeah, thanks.” Akira’s older brother was a gang member as well and I knew that Suke and Kenta worked together all the time. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know. I’d rather things stay as they were. I could be happy just being by him couldn’t I? I looked over at where Sora was practically laying over on Hasu to see the screen, softly whispering pointers. It would be worth it just to be Kenta’s friend if nothing else.
“Oh come on Ryuu! You can’t be serious!” I blinked at Akira surprised.
“But I thought you’d like it-“
“It’s a skirt Ryuu! A fucking skirt!”
“B-but it’s just part of the outfit-“
“I don’t care! You are not making me the girl of the band.”
“I wasn’t trying to! I just thought-“
“Yeah, you thought wrong. Like usual.”
I gasped softly, shocked at the hostile tone and glare. I was not used to Akira getting so upset and especially not with me. Grabbing the outfit out of his hands, I backed up. I started to say something, but the way he was looking at me seemed to close my throat off. Turning I fled down the hallway, slamming the door to my room shut behind me. Throwing the offending outfit I sat down on the floor, my back to the door. Closing my eyes I brushed away the tears. I couldn’t handle him yelling at me. His outfit had been the most difficult to get right and for him to so obviously hate it hurt. I’d worked two weeks on the design with Tatsuya’s input. Two weeks for nothing. Tatsuya was going to be so disappointed. Not to mention that now I felt like a complete idiot.
“Just forget it. You’re right. I’m just stupid and can’t do anything right.”
I could hear him sigh through the door. “You’re not stupid Ryuu-“
“No you were right, even Reiko says that all my ideas fail. I should just give up. Why do you guys even bother . . .” I couldn’t stop the tears anymore even as much as I hated them. I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face in my arms. I could hear Sora talking to Akira in the hallway but didn’t bother trying to make out the words. Why was I so stupid? I knew how Akira felt about looking feminine. It was just the outfit was perfect for him, or at least I thought so. He looked so good in anything I put him in, it almost wasn’t fair. The voices faded and I decided that I probably should go tell Akira I was sorry. I knew how sensitive he was about looking feminine. I’d just gotten caught up in the excitement and hadn’t been thinking. Going over to the pile of fabric, I picked it up and set it on the bed. It would have to be altered, but I could probably make it into something Akira would feel more comfortable wearing.
Going to the bathroom I splashed a bit of cold water on my face trying to wash away the tears, but my eyes were still a bit red. Shaking my head, I glared at myself in the mirror. “You are lucky anyone even wants to be friends with you.” I told the reflection. “Stupid emotional idiot.”
“I’d rather you didn’t talk about yourself that way, Ryuu.”